Sign in | New here? Sign Up
A community of cancer survivors supporting each other.

avatar

(December 23, 1938 - July 8, 2011)

Vital Info


Marjorie Walker (mwalker)


December 30, 2009


Click Here


Bath, Somerset BA2 6


December 22, 1938

Cancer Info


Breast Cancer


carcinoma-of-the-breast


Stage 4


Negative


Negative


No


Yes


yes


Taxol (Paclitaxel)


Aromasin

Stats

Posts:34
Photos:1
Events:0
Supporters:36
Comments
-Made:2
-Received:147
Views:64452

Marjorie Walker's Cancer Blog

Marjorie Walker's Memorial
December 23, 1938 - July 8, 2011

candleRIP no more pain. love to you.
by Laurie
candleYou gave me a new perspective on life. Peace.
by Monique
candleRest in peace. You fought so hard.
by LC
candlemendoguy
by Mendoguy
candleYou are missed! Rest in Peace dear Marjorie
by kimbo
candleYou gave a good fight.Rest in peace
by JENNIFER
candleShe fought from 1969 how inspiring
by Ava
candlethank you. xoxo
by Debbie
candleYour words will be missed. RIP
by Yo
candleKeith
by Keith
candlePeace.
by Bill
candle
by Ann
candle
by Jessica
candle
by Lisa
candlethank you for sharing your journey, Marjorie.
by Janet
candleGodspeed, darling, pray for us.
by Mersea
candleRest now, friend.
by Kathy
candlePain no more. RIP
by Nancy Glass
candleRest in peace
by Mari
candlePeace.
by Ann
candleA better place awaits
by Mike Rada
candleA woman with grace and wisdom.
by Andrea
candle
by Jill
candleMy prayers are for your family & friends, Sandyjo
by Sandyjo
candleGod bless you Marjorie Walker
by Fred
candle
by Kat
candle
by Eli
candleAn honest teacher of life, rest now.
by Levi
candleGood Night and God bless
by Janet
candleR,I,P, Marjorie You are already missed greatly
by Robin
candleRest In Peace
by Joyce In NC
candleMay your family and friends find peace
by Helen Marshall
candleRest in Peace as you join Ron in Heaven's Paradise
by Ron Siemientkowski
candleRest in peace
by Rachel
candleRest in Peace, Marjorie.
by Diane
candleRest in Peace
by Admin

Light a Candle

Please Sign In or Sign Up in order to light a candle.

Farewell and thank you

Not really a blog - just a thank you to all of you who followed my friend Margie's blog. She hugely appreciated all the comments and good wishes that you sent her way, and wanted me to tell you so. I, Antonia, friend and editor, have posted on her own site (www.cancercurmudgeon.com) all the tributes spoken at her funeral, and received since; she made it to her 100 blogs, with a little help from her friends. Farewell all.
ladyofthelarynx likes this post.
:) She was a wonderful Person! So Wonderful in fact I kept getting Old Blogs from her even after she passed! Her spirit is alive and well and still wanders the boards. :) I hope she is happy and pain free.
Wonderful tributes - thank you, Antonia, I enjoyed learning more of Marjorie and her friends.
I waited to tell this to those who will come here. The 35 supporters and another couple hundred of casual passers by... We speak here from time to time about 'feeling' that someone was reaching out from the 'other side' with some message. I have enough belief that this may be very possible and I spoke to Marjorie once and thought if anyone finds a way to connect with me in that way, it would be she, the curmudgeon, the impish young lady with the best sparkle I've ever seen. I believe it happened. 4 nights ago, I thought about her and smiled, thinking, wondering if she knew how much she had touched that naughty, funny side of me. I would stop wondering. My computer made it's little 'ding' sound to alert me there was something new in the mail. I slid over to that page, and nothing was there. So I knew there would be one more. Thank you Antonia, for being a wonderful friend to Marjorie as well as to us. Thank you for helping her come to us and sharing her wonderful spirit. I shall enjoy reading the blogs on the other site, forgetting as I go, that she is no longer here. Or is she...? xoxo
She was a wonderful, lovely, inspiring person. I think her energy remains in and around us. Peace and love to all her friends, Lori
RIP, Marjorie
I so wish I had met Marjorie in person. Her stories were wonderful. I am just amazed at the way she orchestrated her life and her death. In the last few months, Marjorie's family visited. She was still strong enough to tour with her grandchildren. Thank you, Antonia, for collecting Marjorie's writings.
She was an amazing wonderful. The world has definitely lost a special woman.
Sign in or sign up to post a comment.

8th July 2011

Marjorie Walker 22nd December 1938 – 8th July 2011 Marjorie passed away peacefully on Friday 8th July.
Heaven just became more fun. Even though I never met her in real life, I will miss Marjorie - she brought light & laughter here and i'm guessing everywhere she went. So glad her passge was peaceful and she's free to make adventures on her next journey. *sad*
I'm so sorry. I appreciated the strength, courage and honesty that she showed in her writings here. She was clearly a woman of great integrity. Ann
What a wonderful woman. I loved reading her blogs and am happy that she is finally at peace. She will be missed very much.
I'm so sorry...at least she's at peace.
I’m just so very sorry. This stupid world is now missing another wonderful and elegant always gutsy never quivering fighter. I will miss her gutty approach to this crappy disease. My thoughts are with her family and friends. We will miss Marjorie Walker. Ed
Andrea likes this comment
Aww....I'm so sorry to hear that. What a wonderful woman, I will never forget her. So so glad she went peacefully...Her blogs were a joy to read. God Bless.
God bless to a lovely soul....
I'm so sorry to hear that! She seemed like a wonderful person. We will miss reading her blogs.
A huge loss for us..we will miss her deeply.. Rest in peace
An amazing woman, a wonderful writer with a wry sense of humor. Met life head-on and set her own agenda. Rest in peace, dear Marjorie.
Jubilee likes this comment
Sorry to hear that,she was atough gutsy lady and will be missed by all of us!There are no goodbyes just good memories! RIP Marjorie
A star in the heavens shines brighter now.
Oh no, I just saw this so sad. Rest in peace! I will set up the memorial.
I am so sorry to hear this. My deepest sympathy to her family. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Love and hugs, Joyce In NC
I didn't get to meet Marjorie until getting the Light a Candle for Marjorie from Jill. Thankfully there's this BFAC community to share and get to know wonderful fighters, and survivors, like Marjorie, even if they have left us. Just now I've been reading Marjorie's last few posts for the first time, and I feel the richer because her writing is so loving and patient. What a gift to leave us. Thank you Marjorie, Nicole
I shall now be able to read her other blog with the sense that I knew her. Google it, you'll find her there. Wherever she is, there's a feast of good food, wonderful music and funny, funny stories.
Sign in or sign up to post a comment.

Thanataphobia – fear of death

I have moments, particularly in the middle of the night, when I’m frightened of dying. Every week I get a little weaker, and I’m frightened, it would be churlish not to fear death. I’ve studied how people react to and suppress such phobias, but in the end it doesn’t help very much. I understand why people repress their fears, why they invent amazing stories of heaven and hell, and why they sacrifice chickens in order to project their fears. I certainly had enough analysis to have some understanding of all that. Am I afraid of being alone at the moment of death? Of course I am, but then again not really; most of the things that have happened to me, the traumatic and life-changing experiences, have happened to me while I was more or less alone. Being a single woman forces you to face things alone a lot. I often think I might stop breathing tonight, or tomorrow night. I’m very conscious that things are getting worse every week, but I’m also conscious that the days are good, and I don’t want to die yet. There are certain friends I haven’t seen enough of, even now. I said I would write 100 blogs, and I’ve nearly got there … wouldn’t it be amazing if I got it right on the mark? Plans are being made still: I’m getting more equipment; my room becomes more and more like a hospital; more carers are here to help. I’m frustrated by how little I can do for myself, but I don’t wish I was dead; I still want that extra day, or that extra week, or that extra month. The physical space I live in is getting smaller and smaller, and once the hospital bed arrives I’ll be finished. My activities are not what they used to be – I read less, I watch more junk television. But what does it matter, if I see my friends, once, twice, maybe 3 times a day? And I still enjoy my food – perhaps not like before, but I know what tastes good. And I have so much work to do still. Work on my finances (boring), work on my family (emotionally testing), and things, the right things, to give away to the right people (tricky). Two weeks have passed since the above was written. I lie now in my hospital bed, waited on hand and foot, 24 hours. We’ve gone through the commode stage and beyond, and now I have a catheter, so no more falling over on the way to bathroom. I’m now bedridden, but I have to tell you it’s not as bad as I thought it might be; I’m not finished yet. Stage by stage as I deteriorate, I still find pleasure in small things – even if it’s just feeling fresh after a bed bath. I look forward to my meals – that hasn’t changed – and to visits from friends and family. I wouldn’t have believed four months ago that my body would deteriorate so far, so fast, but the months have gone very quickly; and the down and down has been clear to chart, step by step. But I can still, just about, engage with people , thanks to drugs. I never thought I would ever take, much less need, so much morphine, which now I welcome, drug addict that I am. I’m shocked; the door is closing rapidly. My oncologist just left and she is very saddened by my condition and the fact that on one occasion I’d been left in pain – it’s only been one night, no maybe two actually, but they were horrible times, mistakes were made or it wouldn’t have happened. I’m now on double the pain medication and hopefully will never have this problem again. I feel like I’m waiting for pain to come, but I hope that all my doctors are right and that I’ll never get that pain again, but that takes a lot of trust when once the system has gone wrong. There’s a lot of wishful thinking, and trust, that goes into this. I’m going to do the best I can to believe it. What is the worst pain? The psychological pain or the physical? That’s a difficult shot to call. When you’re sitting and watching the deterioration of your own body, it is an excruciating psychic experience, even when the drugs eliminate the pain. Let’s look at how things have changed: from having friends over for dinner, and going out together, and the theatre and all that, look at how much time I spend asleep now. Last year my oncologist and I went out and had a lovely dinner at a rest I couldn’t possibly remember the name of now – couldn’t think of going there, let alone walking there now. I struggle to write this blog, with my friend Antonia. I can’t think very well because of the morphine, but I don’t mind, I must get rid of the pain. I know this will be a tough blog for people to read, but I think it’s important for you to know the truth. Maybe this is the war on cancer people talk about, more hopeless than the Afghanistan war, no exit strategy. It’s impossible to believe, you can’t believe in your own death. The idea of your own death is very difficult to get your head around, I can tell you. It’s tough to live through, and it’s tough to think about and write about, and at the end of the day it’s very scary; but it’s even tougher on your friends and family and those around you every day.
quemon likes this post.
horselover sent you a prayer.
sunshineangel, nana1959 sent you a hug.
Marjorie, you are an amazing woman. I wish you peace.
I've followed your posts for quite some time now. You're an amazing woman...in life, and now, as you know your time is coming. You've touched my heart in different ways - thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us.
Marjorie, I have tears streaming down my face. Even though it is nearly impossible to describe, you articulate so well this dying process that we all fear; but we must all face it sooner or later. You have taught me; your writing is your legacy. Perhaps as part of your memorial, one of your dear friends can compile and publish your writing. You are unforgettable for all the right reasons. I am so glad the morphine can control the pain sufficiently for you to continue to enjoy your friends, your meals, and the other little pleasures.
Dear Marjorie, I stumbled accross your posts a few months ago and you're wit and courage have given me courage too. You've kept it real and reinforced my own hope for myself that no matter the uncertainties and fears I will not leave before the last act. I hated that Pratchett/Dignitas documentary too. There is a beauty and wisdom in all you have shared, and it becomes clearer with each post (and I'm pulling for at least the 100th). I'll never forget your courage and beauty. Thank you. Allison xx
Thank you, Marjorie for your eloquence and honest sharing of your experiences. I love the humanity, the wit, the questioning, the vulnerability - I love that you choose to share such an intimate journey and I feel humbled and grateful to read and witness and travel with you for the time it takes to read your words. I wish you peace and ease in your days and when the time comes, in your passing and I wish for you that when you leave, you leave with a light heart, self-forgiveness and acceptance. It is what it is, says love. Much love and gratitude to you, Marjorie - and hoping to read up to 100 (and if you are up for it, and beyond). janet x
May you have peace in heart, in your mind, in your soul. Gods blessings for you Marjorie. Love lauri
Hi Marjorie, We are programmed to hang on to this life as we do not know anything else..perhaps there is nothing else..either way we must give it all we have...I am happy you are treasuring the moments and am sending you all the prayers and good thoughts that I can..you are brave regardless of your fears..they are our fears tool...I hope you can feel them Marjorie..love, lori
I hope that I can find a fraction of the courage that you are showing right now when my own time comes. I appreciate so much the honesty, brutal though it may be, that you bring to your posts. We all come to the clearing at the end of the path, and you are helping the rest of us when you leave behind you a sign here and there for us to follow. Thank you. Ann
Joyce In NC likes this comment
Dear Marjorie, I'm sorry our paths never crossed during your struggle, You wrote a beautiful candid heartfelt description on your fate. Thank you for sharing the insight in to what we all will face sooner or later. I'm confident that you are now at peace with the angels. May God bless you. Jacques
Sign in or sign up to post a comment.
There aren't many recent entries for that selection. Searching back in time for more...
rollerFetching older entries....
No more results
Share with others
RSS Feed